The Saturday Morning crazies

So last night was Valentine's...and guess what, my husband and I actually went out, together, without the boys. It's hilarious how much effort it takes. It still feels like yesterday that I would be itching to get out of the house on a Friday and I would be calling my friends to see where we were headed. Now I get excited about a quiet night in when the family pulse seems to relax as we anticipate the weekend.


Ah, the weekend, that magical time when you have to race around to take care of house and home as well as manage activities for the kids (or entertaining them) and then hopefully, hopefully you'll get some quiet time to yourself. That is usually a big source of stress for me; how do I get some time for just me? A girlfriend of mine gets time to herself by not napping. She chooses not to 'sleep when your kids sleep' so she can get some time to do her thing. Lots of other women I know will either stay up really late or get up really early. No, 5 AM is not my ideal wake-up time, but hey, it's time I get to float around the house, organize some papers, and if I'm really quiet, make dinner for that night. I'm also fortunate to have found a gym with a great childcare space so I can workout (I have also been known to just sit in the change room and mark papers or read) while my boys play.


Ever since I became a mother, I struggle with what I call my Saturday morning alter ego. For some reason, I get angry if I'm not out of the house by 9:30. It's actually not 'some' reason, it's the clock! If we don't make the most of the weekend, then my life during the school year is a blur of long subway rides, bus rides, teaching in a new school I only figure out long enough to be sent to the next and then rushing to grab the boys and spend some time with them. Rush, rush, rush.


Why so calm today? It's the long weekend. I missed my run this morning, I let my boys watch cartoons and I made a nice big Americano. I'm also working on a project that will help me set a part time schedule at work so I can have more time for me and also more relaxed time with the boys, and hey, maybe my husband and I will get out again, without the boys, before next Valentine's day.

Getting My Head Out of My *ss!

I cannot count the number of times I have started over, not just in my training plans and jobs, but in my approach to dealing with obstacles.  Life just keeps throwing twists and turns, more when you live outside the lines like I do.


Over the past 5 years I have faced life and death, I have lost loved ones, I have become a mother (twice) and most recently (and TOTALLY unexpectedly) a full time step mother. I know that life is indeed full of crazy surprises.


Lucky for me, 2013 was my year of guardian angels. It took me 37 years to learn to really let people in, to let them do things for me, to let go of control...or so I thought.


This past week I came face to face with a reality I know little to nothing about. Right now I am forced to face my biggest challenge, letting go of control and 'going with the flow'.  My life has taught me to make my own flow, but now I have to respect my colleagues and the students we serve. Their needs are greater than anything most of us will ever imagine. It's time for me to stop fighting the fact that I don't feel qualified to work in a classroom where students' basic needs are met by others, and focus on what I can share. I just hope that I can figure out how to be useful to the students and awesome support staff that work so closely to take care of our students. It's been a hard week of coming face to face with being uncomfortable in a professional setting. I am so grateful that my personal life is so rich, so amazing that it helps me realize that a) I am not my job and b) I can give a lot, even when I don't know much. Welcome to my new blog! If you're a mother, teacher, athlete, food lover, traveler, disease survivor, or you just love, love, love life...join me on my journey. I welcome the honour of working with you to make our world a better place.